He brought HER to our daughters graduation

Infidelity/Cheating
#1

The woman that he cheated with. I know he has moved on but I asked him to celebrate with her and our daughter the next night when she would be staying at “their” place. He was more than welcome at the event. Our divorce trial was 3 weeks ago. I did not want our daughters graduation to be about his new toy. Or another opportunity for him to twist the knife deeper in my heart yet that is what it became.

They entered late, sat accross the room. Draped all over each other, she wearing a clevage busting tank top and tossing her hair like a teenager. ok fine. I ignored them and watched my daughter and her friends. Took lots of pictures. Post ceremony daughter makes a beeline to them. I hold back with her grandma, aunt and cousin. 10, 15 minutes… so on.

Finally THEY choose to leave as they do SHE (his new piece) blows me a kiss. I get so angry I start shaking. I can only think how badly I would love to just knock her off her high horse. I didnt. I did walk over and ask if there was something she wanted to say to me in person? She stammerd then said no. Then she tells my soon to be X that “she is not worth it.” That was it for me…I looked at her and said ya know… doesnt matter what dress you put on it a whore will always be a whore.

Then I walked away before I said or did more. I could not believe the ordacisty of her to go, then to antagonize me as if my X is a prize? Ummm no. I walked in on him two weeks after my dad died and caught him in bed… Did he comfort me during my loss…NO. She can have him. How do you handle a situation where the other parent will no cooperate for the interest of your child. He chose to bring her to flaunt her not to honor our daughter.

#2

You need to move on, clearly you have precipitated the divorce through your own actions. You have failed in your duties as a wife and now you pay the consequences for your lactions or more likely lack thereof . Be happy for him and move on -

#3

You did well to keep your composure. You can be sure that she wore what she wore and did what she did because she is very insecure around you.My mother and I attended my son’s graduation last Friday. He has known for months that his grandmother was coming from 2 states away, and so she and I got tickets. I did not ask for, and he did not offer, a ticket for my fiancee. (I’ve been divorced 4 years and met her later, so not the same situation.) The bottom line here is, this celebration is for the graduates, and they should invite who they want to invite.Daughters seem to try hard to please their daddies. She knew you were going to be there no matter what, and she knew you’d wait, but she was afraid he would skip it or bolt when it was over, so she made a fuss over him. Not fair, but: You can take it as a sort of compliment that she took you for granted–it means she knows who is the one she can count on.

#4

I think that you handled yourself with so much class. Believe me she will get tired of him we know she has no morales. I know how hard it is to see them go on with their life and act like you were nothing. My ex (sep. for 14 months now) acts like that our 17 yr marriage was nothing. If it helps know that Karma will bite him in the butt!!!I use to set and think how could he be so happy and just move on. I assumed he was having the time of his life, while I was hurting and trying to keep going. I am so thankful that I have but my faith in God and I know that my future will be so much more than my past. I pray daily for God to help me get through the anger and hurt and I am happy to say that each day I think of him less and less. My ex cheated on me for 2 yrs but when we split he met someone the 1st month and they have been living together for almost a yr. I can only tell you what I have learned and it was so hard to do. I finally turned it over to God I mean really gave it to him so I could start to heal. Somedays I pray every hour and some just a couple times. I am becoming a better person and a better mother. Focus on what makes you happy and talk with good friends. Your Best is yet to come. I will keep you in my prayers. I hope this will help u some and remember Karma is very real !!!

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#5

Someone people are just born to be hurtful no matter how hard you try to be the best you can be. There are people who are just so selfish and love to watch people suffer or have some kind of emotional control over you. It makes them feel like they have power or control. Pay him no mind. Document everything and just remember your children need you and need you to be strong. Don’t let him take any of that away from you and the bond you have with the kiddos. Prayers to you

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#6

Unfortunately when we are hurting and fresh to the newness of the insult, EVERYTHING they do is seen as an attack or dig. The reality of life now is that he is with her and despite how things were in your relationship, you aren’t with him. You are coparents that’s all. I agree the kiss blowing was out of line and probably was a dig. But to achieve peace in your life, you must let go of feelings for him and find forgiveness for your own sanity. Forgiveness doesn’t condone actions or make you forget the hurt, but it releases you from your “job” of hating. People do strange things for reasons the either know or don’t know. The latter struck me as a falsehood, but I’ve talked to many people that have done bizarre things that affected their relationship and when asked why, some truly don’t know. They just know they needed or wanted something else. Find your peace, and love you kids with all your heart! Life isn’t over.