New here. I'll try to keep a long story short and will definitely appreciate any opinions/suggestions.
I have been divorced for about 9 months due to my husband having an affair. We have two young children (5 and 8). They have primary placement with me and visit with their dad during the week and sleepover one night on the weekend. Even though he chose to end our marriage to go be with the other woman, he has been hostile, bitter, and angry towards me ever since, and even got violent once to the point where the police had to become involved an a restraining order was issued against him. We only communicate via email now and even that can get pretty nasty. I've gotten to the point where I feel I cannot communicate with him unless we are with the family therapist that I have been taking my children to to help them with the divorce.
Our children have only recently been able to be around his girlfriend (the former mistress) within the last two months. I had that stipulation put into our divorce agreement to give our children time to adjust to the divorce before being exposed to his relationship. My last few attempts to communicate with him about some struggles that my oldest has been having since being introduced to his girlfriend have resulted in him attacking and blaming me, nasty name-calling, etc, and not even giving any merit to how our daughter is feeling. So...thinking that we desperately need to improve our communication and co-parenting to do what's best for our kids, and thinking that if he heard it from a therapist rather than me, he might listen, I arranged to have a meeting with him, me, and our family therapist.
He told me that he AND his girlfriend would be coming to the meeting. I personally think that it is crazy for her to be coming, and that she has no business being there at this point. She has been in my children's life for less than two months, they are not married (although they do live together). I think she is vastly overstepping boundaries here. I also feel like she fuels the divide between my ex-husnad and I. I don't know why they think it is appropriate or necessary for her to be there. I've accepted that she is going to be a part of their lives and I know that the more people that can love my children the better, but this just feels crazy to me.
Looking for opinions or even suggestions on how to handle this.