Well, let me tell you how it has gone for me . . . NIGHTMARE.
When the kids are with ex I have no way to contact them because he withholds all ability for me to contact them, he ignores any messages I send, and refuses to tell me where he lives so I don’t know where the kids are on his parenting time.
I have 3 children with my ex. I have full legal and physical custody because he admitted to abuse in court to myself and our children. We have been to court MULTIPLE times over the last 3 years. Now he takes the kids all the time/ does not return them. I call police and they say it is “a domestic issue” and will not get involved. Ex even kidnapped kids for over 2 weeks last summer and took them to another state. I had to call the police e very day for 5 days in a row before they located the kids were in another state but they did nothing about it as ex claimed (falsely) it was his vacation. Ex takes kids every couple weeks without warning or any communication claiming he has counseling scheduled. He manipulates his own interpretation all the time in the kids are so stressed out they have PTSD. It is really horrible. Police tell you to go to court, lawyers say call the police. CPS asked me why I bring them to his parenting time?? Seriously?! Because I follow the court order?? Judges roll their eyes and think you are both high conflict and results are expensive and unpredictable with the lies and manipulation being told. Abusive people are allowed to use the broken system to continue the abuse with little recourse. The children suffer, and it feels like you are alone in the awful situation with no one to help and fight for you. I basically just readjust my life to cause the children the least amount of stress and to be able to drop everything on a dime to show up when he randomly decides to let me get them back. It affects my job, ability at income, relationships, and social life. I sympathize with you. Stay strong. It has been 4 years, but there have now been over 30 CPS reports and now an open case for his “inability to communicate and co-parent”. He may end up losing unsupervised time with the kids. Take the high road, and follow the court order to a T no matter how unreasonable they are. Be the bigger person. Everything in writing and business/ non-emotional. It is so hard. There is no good outcome for the children. Just be the best person and mom you can be.