Ex wont return child after his visitation

My ex wont give my daughter back after his visitation. He’s played these games before but the police have always convinced him to send her home. This time Im not so sure.

He doesnt answer the door or phone for police. I have sole physical custody and joint legal. I had to file a complaint with the friend of the court. How long will they take? and if there is mediation, will I get her back during the process. I curse the day I ever met this jerk. Thanks.

This is an easy win for you. If he is keeping the child out side of a parenting time schedule and there is no written agreement to why the child is not to be returned according to the parenting schedule. Meaning a note you both agreed to, this is kidnapping. Call the police or CPS and have a copy of your parenting time schedule and custody that you can give the police. They should arrest him on the spot and state will go ahead and press the charges of kidnapping. It’s that simple, really.

If there are any issues at all with your ex, you should have a signed copy of the decree anyway. It shouldn’t matter that the judge is retired–it’s not like you have to find him. The signed copy is on file at the courthouse and if you get a true copy of that you should be fine.Reading your initial post, it sounded like parental kidnapping. Reading your further explanations, now it sounds more like you have a willful teenager and a mismatch in parenting styles–not at all uncommon in divorces.He’s not really keeping her away from you, he’s not forcing her to go home. No, it’s not right. He should send her home. But in the big scheme of things, I don’t think you are going to get what you want by pursuing this in the courts. Just my opinion–but if you didn’t want to seem like the bad guy to your girls by telling the authorities about your ex’s behavior, then do you really think you are going to win your daughter’s respect by taking your ex to court over her behavior?

Just received your post in my inbox…such a sad situation. I’m not familiar with all the legal steps to take but what I do think about is how your daughter is caught in the middle over this. My former husband and I, who divorced when our boys were eight and five, are writing a book about trying to put the kids first. Even though your ex is not doing that, you can still do everything possible to keep her first and foremost while you are battling it out. Calling her, sending her cards and messages while she is away from you will help her know that it’s not because you don’t want to see her that ‘something has come up.’ Divorce should never be the kids’ issue…we don’t want them to think that our not seeing them is in any way related to our love for them. Please check out our blog, http://divorcedbutnotdivided.blogspot.com where we write about ways to help kids feel loved after a divorce. My heart goes out to you. Margaret

Well, let me tell you how it has gone for me . . . NIGHTMARE.
When the kids are with ex I have no way to contact them because he withholds all ability for me to contact them, he ignores any messages I send, and refuses to tell me where he lives so I don’t know where the kids are on his parenting time.

I have 3 children with my ex. I have full legal and physical custody because he admitted to abuse in court to myself and our children. We have been to court MULTIPLE times over the last 3 years. Now he takes the kids all the time/ does not return them. I call police and they say it is “a domestic issue” and will not get involved. Ex even kidnapped kids for over 2 weeks last summer and took them to another state. I had to call the police e very day for 5 days in a row before they located the kids were in another state but they did nothing about it as ex claimed (falsely) it was his vacation. Ex takes kids every couple weeks without warning or any communication claiming he has counseling scheduled. He manipulates his own interpretation all the time in the kids are so stressed out they have PTSD. It is really horrible. Police tell you to go to court, lawyers say call the police. CPS asked me why I bring them to his parenting time?? Seriously?! Because I follow the court order?? Judges roll their eyes and think you are both high conflict and results are expensive and unpredictable with the lies and manipulation being told. Abusive people are allowed to use the broken system to continue the abuse with little recourse. The children suffer, and it feels like you are alone in the awful situation with no one to help and fight for you. I basically just readjust my life to cause the children the least amount of stress and to be able to drop everything on a dime to show up when he randomly decides to let me get them back. It affects my job, ability at income, relationships, and social life. I sympathize with you. Stay strong. It has been 4 years, but there have now been over 30 CPS reports and now an open case for his “inability to communicate and co-parent”. He may end up losing unsupervised time with the kids. Take the high road, and follow the court order to a T no matter how unreasonable they are. Be the bigger person. Everything in writing and business/ non-emotional. It is so hard. There is no good outcome for the children. Just be the best person and mom you can be.