Where do i start… My husband (we have not been together for over 2 years) has just told me he has recently started dating the woman he had his final affair with. This hurts but i know i will get over it. What is killing me is he told me when our daughter was in earshot so i wouldnt react. I did react and now she knows he had a girlfriend when we were married and its this lady now. I am so hurt by his callous behaviour towards both of us i am totally broken. Right now my LO (7) doesnt want anything to do with her father, i need her to be with him as i need some space to grieve again for a marriage i was devoted to but i cant trust him to do the right thing. He has manipulated everything so his entire family turn against me (i was very close to them) so i cant trust what he will say to our daughter. He denies all wrong doing and pulls the stupid card, i can’t work out if hes incredibly clever or stupid. Im not sure what im asking advice for…im just so broken.
I would find others for your daughter to be with.
He is NOT stupid.
If your GUT feeling is that you can’t trust him…then DON’T.
Your gut feeling will be critical during this new adjustment time.
Go with it. If you can’t or don’t trust him…then stick with it.
Yes there is a period for grief of the death of the marriage, but as harsh as this may sound, you need to be there for your daughter more right now.
Yes show her how much you hurt. She needs to know that…but don’t ever say anything bad about him to her.
WHY??? Because she will always remember that and if he asks her if you have ever said anything bad about him he may be able to use it.
i understand that you broken and displace.
but Paul right
dont say anything bad about your daughter father
my daughter 20 is having a hard time liking her daddy right now
and i say to her that he is still your father and he love you. I know it hard but take one day at a time.
good luck to you
I only ever speak highly of her father to her, id be devasted if she didnt like him anymore. I also dont say anything negative about the woman, when i was being asked questions by her i just expalined the woman didnt put anyone else first. I had some tricky Qs to answer and that was the simplest thing to say. I would never talk badly, no matter hiw much i wanted to, about people who may become important to my LO. Its possibly the hardest thing i do is talk sbout them in a positive matter. I wish them both as much karma as they deserve. I also hope this is the real thing, for that i can accept all this hurt and upset.
i know it hurt now but better days ahead. i will send positive thoughts your way.
Be present for your child. Make sure she knows you both love her no matter how you feel about each other. It truly sucks but one day it will just be a bad memory.