Hello all, I know it has been awhile since I have been on here, and so many things have happened in my life. My husband and I had gone our separate ways. I live somewhere new, as did he. After months of turmoil and fighting, we had finally reached a point where we were at peace with one another. He had realized that he had destroyed the marriage with his infidelity/lies/abuse and alcoholism.
I, on the other hand, had been set free of the negativity surrounding what had happened between us and just wanted him to get better for himself. I knew we would never EVER be again but I had hoped that his rock bottom would provide him with the gumption to clean his life up and start anew. I was wrong.
On 7/28/11, he took his own life. At the age of 33. 5 days after his birthday. We weren't divorced yet, so now I am legally a widow. It is so surreal. I was over him and had mourned the loss of what he used to be when I initially left him but now I feel as if I am right back at square one. His parents told me that they understood I did everything I could for him and ultimately it was the loss of his job that "broke the camel's back," but I still feel as if I could have done something better.
I guess I am really confused and in need of some guidance/support. I lost our baby 3 years ago and now lost him. Even though I didn't want him back, I DID want him to be happy and get better for himself and his family. Has anyone else gone through something like this? Again, I thank you all for your time and support. It is greatly appreciated.