Presley,Welcome to the site, wish you didn't have to be here, =(In answer to your question, really, it depends on the child, as each one is unique. There are instances of families with multiple children where one is perfectly fine, and the other is hit hard by the divorce and acts out on it. If your son is emotional, and doesn't handle change well - expect him to have problems. For a four year old, it is less about the actual split of mom and dad, and more about the massive change in everything he knows - two houses going back and forth, shared time, different rules in each house....toddlers tend to be very routine oriented...and a divorce can really rock their world. Also, some don't understand the concept that when a parent leaves (like during pick up and drop offs) they will see them again. For some, they panic and are scared they won't see that other parent again, and although normal for that age, it is heartbreaking to see because it is hard to get them to understand. You read bad stories on the internet, well, because if everything is going smoothly and a child isn't having issues, there is no reason to talk about it with anyone, is there? So don't let your research skew your choice...what is BEST for a child is two happy parents, even if it means them being apart. One thing however, prior to divorce, it is really easy for people to say it will be amicable, I've had a lot of easy going people who's marriages fell apart turn into totally different people (you aren't divorcing who you married, remember that) due to differences of opinion on who gets what, money, or even minor custody issues. Kudos to the two of you if you can get through it peacefully...but keep in the back of your mind, this is a lawsuit, and by nature, it is going to have it's contentious moments.