Depressed and having a nervous

I am still in the process of a long two year divorce. I feel as if my energy is drained…like I need to surrender. My soon to be ex has two companies which they are evaluating and now we have guardian leitum appointed. My ex keeps telling my children that he will get them and the house. I feel as if everything in front of my eyes is crumbling.

To make matters worse, my mother who is 68 has been diagnosed with stage 4 of pancreatic cancer. I don"t want to lose my mom. I feel guilty that I put her through this crap for the last 2 years. Will my boys be taken from me? I am so scared…I feel depressed and bullied.

It seems that my ex always comes out on top. My attorney is asking me for 5,000, which I do not have. I am not ure to just tell him to settle and be done. I really have no more energy left inside of me. Any adivce, would be greatly appreciated. Kelli

Well, the depressed/breakdown thing is as serious as a heart attack - and this time of the year only exacerbates it. Get on the phone to your MD (If you have a good relationship with your GYN, that’s a good person to ask, too) and ask for a referral to a counselor. If you need immediate help - sometimes just someone to talk to who has more expertise in dealing with what you need than we do, call a crisis hotline - they’re in the front of your phone book. Don’t be shy about it. It’s what they’re there for.About the attorney fees - rob Peter to Pay Paul, if you catch my drift. Credit Card, loan, whatever.Don’t give up on what you believe is right for you and your kids. The fight is worth it. Sometimes you need to take good care of yourself and indulge in a good movie (or the Macy’s Parade), or whatever. Just do the next thing that’s in front of you right now, and don’t look at it all at once. One of my favorite quotes is from Mother Teresa, who said something to the effect that although she was sure that the good Lord Doesn’t give us more than we can hendle, there are times when she wished that he didn’t trust her so much. If Mother Teresa got overwhelmed now and then, I don’t feel so bad when it happens to me.About taking care of yourself - eat well, get rest when you can, avoid drugs and alcohol (unless they’ve been prescribed by an MD who knows what he’s doing - a psychiatrist should be prescribing mind/mood altering drugs), get a little exercise (a walk around the block can do wonders, but I’m going to be sccrubbing the heck out of my tub later today). Like the flight attendant says - you have to put your oxygen mask on FIRST, or you won’t be able to help anyone else.You might also check out a support group for those whose family members are suffering with cancer - Mom’s MD or a local hospital can point you in the right direction.We’re here for you.

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The American Cancer Society has a Cancer Resource Network Hotline: Our toll-free hotline - 1.800.227.2345 - provides cancer support for patients and caregivers 24/7, 365 days a year.Please, follow Julie’s advice and try to take care of you.

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Just wanted to offer my commiseration for your situation. To echo Julie’s great advice, just focus on the tasks right in front of you. When you look at everything at once, it’s overwhelming. I’m sorry to hear about your Mom’s cancer. Focus on spending time with her.Also, think about where you stand in your legal battle. Unless you are some sort of degenerate (which I don’t believe you are), the WORST you will end up with is JOINT legal and SHARED or 50/50 custody. Ask your attorney if there are cost-saving measures - like you writing up your deposition, doing research, etc… using them only to do the strategy and Court dealings.

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