Dating Someone Who Lives Out of Town - Is it Worth It?

So I actually met someone I kinda like…lol I’m not head over heels or anything, but yeah, I do like him. The PROBLEM (of course there HAS to be one) is that he lives a three-hour drive away from me!

No, he doesn’t have kids. But he has a great job and life in his own city. And I’ve no intetnion of moving. NO, I’m not jumping the gun thinking I want to shack up with this guy. But the pragmatic part of me is screaming: Why the hell are you dating someone where the distance logistics will be a constant upstream battle?!!

Do you think long-distance relationships can work? Does love rule out in the end and cause someone to make the big sacrifice to move? Or is it really just a big farce that sets you up for heartbreak? I know…I’m so unromantic… Delaine

the answer to all three questions is YES.andthe answer to all three questions is NO.Distance isn’t the the determining factor in if it will work or not, it is the two people involved. Some can handle the unique challenges a LD relationship brings, others crumble.So, enjoy it, take things one day at a time and if you find that distance is an issue for you, don’t consider it a failure but rather a learning experience as to another important criteria when it comes to your dating life, close proximity. If he is the one that ends up having an issue, then the lesson is that you need someone more secure with themselves

You lucked out with three hours. My guy lives 4.5 hours away. It just makes the discovery process longer and more drawn out. I think it also has protected me from jumping into something I am not ready for. So it has its advantages as well.

If you want it to work it can work. My guy lives 4 hrs away and we have been together for 2 yrs. We recently became engaged. We don’t have a date set yet, because of the long distance. It’s a long involved story, however, we are both fine with the way things are so it can work out. He comes up on the weekends or I go down there. (Mostly he comes up here.) However, most of my relationships before I was married have been long distance, so I don’t mind it.

The challenges are horrendous for out of town lovers and relationships.
i was married for 8 years in which time we lived together for 24 months. we had three years where the distances were as much as 10000 miles apart while i worked overseas, and 1200 miles for 3 years being back in the states
In my humble opinion, there are some wonderful advantages such as always being on their best behavior, lots of short and sweet interludes, and never seeing or understanding their bad habits unless co-inhabiting for any length of time. The texting , phone calls and Skype are great for simple communication. but developing any intimacy and sharing the tone, reflection, and warmth and resonance is constantly missing.
The ability to physically connect and feel the hand of the person you care about as you have any type of conversation truly helps convey the affection, spirit and security and TRUST that is so significant to bound you to being a couple is lost.

Only you can make that choice, and I personally would not do it again.


Been there done that, and can only speak from my own personal experience here…but he’s a man.
Now add on that hes a man 3.5 hrs or so away from you…
Do the math, kwim "/

…when you MOST likely catch him cheating, he’ll MOST likely say ONE of TWO things:

  1. “I wanted YOU! Really, baby! I did! I do! I didn’t want her, I wanted YOU! Seriously, I love YOU! But what was I supppsed to do!? You weren’t here babe, and you know how I get…!
    I got my needs” (…You remember now, man’s “uncontrollable” needs’ & all that happy horse malarkey. Hmmm-mmm.“Needs”
    (…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…yadda, yadda lol oh cry me a river)
    He’ll say he’s ONLY been sleeping w the other women/woman bc he COULDN’T have you. And that "you just gotta understand that he “HAD TO” do SOMETHING?!

Uhhh, yeah.
He COULD’A and he SHOULD’A waited the 2 days for you or whatever.

Seriously, What idiotic things men will do/say over sex lol


because he can…say for 2 weeks til you got back down here babe!"


Or option #2:
Well this where he just gonna be cheating on you simply because, welll…
He can.
And he’s just taking advantage of you being 3 hrs away from catching him doing what he does-playing the field with several “girlfriends” simultaneously because again, you’re all hrs apart. Odds are, the guy will get away with it for a while anyways til something gives & he gets caught.

But you gotta think for you girlfriend. My experiences & opinons are exactly that, mine.

And I really DO wish you the best with whatever ypu decide! :wink: