I was reading an article in one of my mother's old retirement magazines about this woman whose husband just up and left her after twenty-five years of marriage.
Why? Because she lost interest in having sex with him. I mean, REALLY lost interest. It all started when she went through menopause. Her doctor prescribed medication which worked on her hot flashes and sweats but not on her libido. It simply didn't exist. "It wasn't like I wasn't attracted to [my husband]," the woman, Joanna, explains, "it was more like I just didn't want sex, with anyone, at all." Joanna's husband, Paul, was understanding...for awhile.
Then he started taking it all personally, continuously asking her if her lack of sex-drive meant that she didn't love him. He kept asking her if she wanted out of the marriage or if she was seeing someone else; both answers were a resounding "no." Then, one day, after almost a year of no sex, Joanna's husband said he wanted a divorce. "He said he didn't want to cheat on me and that if he stayed in the marriage he was afraid he would," Joanna explains. Some women - myself included - would see this as a bad sign and run for the nearest doctor's office and ask for some libido-increasing substance for women.
Try a hot oil massage or something to get you in the mood, ANYTHING. This woman seemed not only turned off by sex, but she wasn't even interested in fixing the problem. At the end of the article, the couple was still in the process of divorce proceedings, but the question arose as to whether or not her husband was a normal man with needs, who waited as long as he could and then kindly stepped out of the marriage instead of having an affair, or if he's a selfish horny toad. I am torn on this issue.
I wouldn't think much of my husband if he left me simply because I wouldn't put out, but then again, if my husband refused to have sex with me and didn't seem inclined to get help for the problem, I might get fed up and leave. I don't know. What do you guys think: is a sexless marriage enough of a reason to divorce?