I am in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years He and his ex divorced the year before we meet due to her year long infidelity. She has since married the man with whom she had the affair. I have had very little to do with his ex outside of kids activities. She wouldn't even acknowledge me for the first year, when I'd ride along for pickups and drop offs. I finally had to introduce myself to her. Recently, she has started to invite us to cookouts and parties, with her new husband, that have nothing to do with the children and my boyfriend actually entertains going. I've asked him if these are things he really wants to do and he says not 100%. I can't wrap my head around why he would want to spend a free Saturday with the woman and man who were responsible for destroying his marriage and breaking up his family. I'm happy that he seems to have forgiven her but it's almost like they are all the best of friends and he wants me to be a part of their blurred friendship. I'm a very black and white kind or person and have no desire to be friends with people who have already shown themselves to be dishonest and disloyal. I will always be friendly and respectful because she is the mother of his kids and I love them as if they were my own, but I will never really like her or be her BFF. The most recent invite has been for a Mother's Day cookout. My boyfriend actually suggested that I would want to celebrate my Mother's Day with his ex wife and his ex-inlaws. My mind was blown. I co-parent with my ex husband and we are on very good terms, but we do not socialize outside of the kids. I feel like this helps to keep healthy boundaries. I've asked my boyfriend how he would feel if I asked him to go to a party at my ex's and he admits that he would be uncomfortable, so I'm not sure why he keeps coming to me with these invitations. I feel like he should just simply tell her thank you but that we already have plans. He says he thinks it's nice of her to invite us, however, I see it in a different light. His ex wife is a very fake and superficial person. He has often referred to her as fake. I feel like she's only inviting us because it makes her look good and not because of genuine kindness. She didn't invite her new husband's ex wife. The whole situation is so bizarre to me. I don't understand why she's started inviting us to social events or why my boyfriend considers accepting them. I don't believe at all that he wants her back, but I do believe he hasn't let go of having her and his family in his life. He has a very small family and I think he misses being apart of hers. The biggest problem for me is that...until he lets go of his attachment to that family, we will never be able to create on of our own.