Considering divorce and main concern is 1 year old son

Only married for 3 years, have a 1 year old son. I’m miserable and unhappy with the marriage. Wife is controlling, disrespectful, isolates and pushes away both of our families. I have become the primary care giver to our son, as she has the better job with health insurance, etc.

Now, that I’ve mentioned divorce she wants full custody over our son. I can’t imagine not having atleast shared custody. I’m with him more than she is and he is now not nursing any longer. I wonder what my chances are in court trying to get shared to full custody of my son.

Both her family and mine want me to have full custody as she has kept our son from almost everyone for various reasons. Recently cops were called to our house as she and her mother got into a fight while holding our son. I’m sure this can’t bode well for her if we go to court, but I just wanted some feedback on custody.

Hey man, So I was in a similar situation but without the police report, which I hope you have and intend to use. I live in California which is possibly the worst place to be a father going thru a divorce but even I got 50/50 custody. I was still active duty military but made sure that I was with my daughter every chance I could be. You were basically the opposite and the primary care giver, which is the parent, if any, stays mostly with the child. Divorce is ugly and very difficult. My ex is a decent person but people break down when they feel a lot is on the line. I never wanted to take anything away from her and to an extent she didn’t either, except initially full custody. You care about your son. That is what is important. You will do what is in his best interest where she will not. That means that you need as much control as possible because you are the one with a decent head on your shoulders. Once the divorce is through you want to be the one to let her see your son when she proves to you she is responsible enough and cares enough.

You need the police report, full disclosure letters from every family member that will write you should have full custody. You probably won’t get full, or maybe you will. If you aim for 100 and get 60 it’s better than aiming for 60 and getting 40 etc. Plus, you have the heart to adjust that on your own. Meaning if and when she proves she can be a positive contribution to your son. I’m totally against doing this in a normal situation where she is a great mom, but hates you or vice versa but she, at this point, should have checks and balances with her son, which should be you. Hope this helps. It’s a long and tough road but I hope you get what is best for your son. Good luck