My husband and I have been married for 16 years. both 44 with a 14 year old daughter. Ihave arthritis and am on disability. I am functional at the moment but they tell me in 5 years ill be in a wheelchair. Hehas not held a job longer than 7 years. At 4 and 7 years of marriage, he cheated on me. I just happened to find out. He never acknowledged and never admitted. At 13 years we moved to another state. He started a job at a hospital doing what he went to school for radiology. He got fired after 7 months because a woman claimed he touched her inapporpriately. was a he said she said but they fired him. 8 months later he got a job at a different hospital. great benefits money. After 2 months there, they fired him…again! He said for arguing with a doctor, but a friend of mine said it was for touching inappropriately. I blew a casket and told him he needed to leave. I didnt believe his story and I was so sick of him not having a job. Im not the best wife I admit. I get cranky when I hurt and I’m loud and pushy. I keep house and run my daughter everywhere (he wont do it ive asked). In the past year he scoffs when I ask him to do anything and sex is non existent for a year. The night he left he told his sister he dont want to live without me but “it is what it is”. Ive cried for 3 days, havnt eaten and am hurt. My decision to make him go but am I doing the right thing or is this just fear because its all so new? fear because its been 16 years ive been with him? fear because i am going to need someone in 5 years and no there is no chance of that with my disability? Im just overwhelemed. Help?
I have to admit, my heart broke a little bit for you when reading your story. But I believe you did the right thing by telling him to get out. The harsh reality is that he has not only cheated on you twice (that you know of), but he has also assaulted other women multiple times AND lied to you about it. None of us were/are perfect, but your faults don’t seem like dealbreakers. His do. Plus, the no sex for a year is a major red flag. I’m sorry you’re hurting, but this man seems like he has shown his true colors and now it’s time for you to throw out the box of broken crayons. Your fear is understandable, but I can’t see how this situation will be any less painful in five years when he’s likely to be even more emotionally and physically unavailable due to your disability. This sounds cliche, but you deserve better. You deserve a chance to find a decent man who will treat you with kindness and respect. I really hope you stick to your guns on this and don’t let him back in. To answer your question, you’re doing the right thing. Things will get better.
Ditto to everything Happily Single said, plus a BIG P.S. The world is full of wonderful people who will love you unconditionally regardless of your disability!
Wow judgement much? Assaulted other women? Holy crap I joined the wrong site. He said she said crap happens all the time in workplaces and lots of women know they can get a man fired if they don’t like him really easy just by telling there Bose oh he grabbed my ass…as for no sex for a year…I have gone 6 years with zero sex…spinal cord injury. Let me say this…women and men always work so hard when dating to get in each other’s pants then they get married and think…hell im married why should I have to shave my legs, Bush, back hair, facial hair etc…maybe the husband or wife should get dressed up put on a little makeup then try for sex…it’s not always simple