I have joint custody of my child but I am the custodial parent. I have decided not to answer my exhusbands phone calls anymore because I am tired of his attitude toward me. Am I required by law to let him speak to our child at any reasonable hour on any day if it is not stated in the divorce document?
Co-parenting is not about you & it is not about your X…it is about the child…every child has the right to be supported in his/her relationship with the other parent. If the other parent is not supportive of you…that means it is all the more important that you be supportive…wouldn’t it be worse for your child to be getting battered from both sides? I am the custodial parent…90% of the time the little ones are with me…but when they go with their dad, he refuses to answer the phone, confirm that they made it to their destination, to let me say goodnight to them, etc. I have an open court case to get this matter resolved…I would never let the phone ring without answering it if my children’s dad was calling for them…what right to I have to stand between my girls & their father? I urge all parents to take the high road & support their children’s relationship with the other parent…even if he treats you poorly, is a jerk, etc…he is still their dad & he is what they got in this lottery of life…make the best of life you can for the good of your kids.
Regarding phone calls and child custody. I have been in a battle with my ex wife to give me the telephone number of the house where my daughter resides. Instead she gives me her (ex wife’s) cellphone number. The rare occasions when I speak to my dauhter, she is on speaker phone on my ex’s cell. I am not sure if I have any legal recourse.
I understand about the phone calls because he never answer the phone when my child is with him but when she is with me he calls all day everyday even when I am at work and she is at school . We have joint custody I have physical custody. Some fathers are just jerks and do stuff to hurt the other parent but to stupid to realize he is hurting the child. In my court order he is allowed to talk to her for 30 minutes once a week and I am allowed the same amount of time when she is with him
So what is the answer legally ro the question concerning phone calls
Um. Well even though U dont like how he talks to You, its not about you, its about the kids. I know its hard and he sends chills up your spine cuz hes soo Icky …lol… but seriously tho, When you see his call dont answer, just hand the phone over to the kids and let them answer. Let them conversate with their father. Its good for them to have that communication. Plus you dont want your kids later on in life be all upset with you because dad couldnt talk to them. And im sure he calls to get under your skin, but dont let it. Be the Bigger person.
Very well put ma’am. Sound like one hell of a woman and a great mother and ex wife. Why make an already awkward and unpleasant situation with fresh open wounds still in either side doesn’t make any since and isn’t having the kids best at heart. My ex had alienated my kids from me for two years now after abandoning us four for five years just to come and take them out of school without letting me know and then to New York and over night all three my Lil reasons for living were gone. Now she’s turned them against me so much so they didn’t call one time when I just had a major life threatening surgery not a call and after five years just us not one dollar not one call from the mother for the four of five years and last week I heard my son call her new husband dad. I love all you and wish you all a happy ending But I really think I’m going end this pain. They don’t even call when I beg and they promise to call. They been manipulated and alienated from me so much it’s too far and it’s gone. I don’t wanna be hear anymore y’all. What I’m going to do couldn’t hurt worse than this pain I feel being kept from my kids and I have the rights in the divorce to see them but cause she moved them to new York I can’t afford the tickets having had serious health problems since they been gone. Just been don’t slowly ever since and think I’ve reached my threshold for this. I rather call it quits now than to live long enough to see myself become or do something unforgivable. I can’t take caring for my retired veteran father who stroked out last year without the little batteries of life my kids are to this now Tom. Of a home. Forever of nothing it’s better than another year of this. Goodbye everyone I sincerely wish you all the best of wishes and hope all you find happiness be blessed people and love your fellow Man. One day it could be you needing the help
I have an ex husband who abused me and uses my daughters innocence to give him personal and private information about me. He lives in a different state and I do allow phone calls. But it must be on speaker or loud enough that I can hear him. I dont tell my daughter what to say nor even speak with him. My daugther is 8 years old. My ex says I’m envadeing his privacy when he calls. Yet he talks to our daugther asking about who I’m dateing. Asks about mommy’s new bfs name. When is mommy at work?.
Now he did this when I did allow him to speak with her with no ease dropping. He knows alot about my personal life and ex friends that I no longer talk to now know all about it. I fell so violated.
In conclusion. I will monitor the calls till my daughter is about 12-13. Or when she is old enough to understand my privacy and she knows how to defend herself from being used for information.
Ok so you made some very good points, I thought ur heart was in the right place. Then the “concerned mommy” act you are playing was debunked with your own contradictions you decided to share. What I’m about to expose is one of the hardest things for a non custodial parent (mostly fathers) to ever experience with their children. On top of of the heartache the courts have still failed to recognize the damage parental alienation causes to children. So I have 5 children with 2 separate mothers, I’ve never missed a child support payment to either mother nor have I missed a single day of my timeshare. Both of the mothers tried everything they could to alienate me from my children. Everything I did was wrong and everything the mothers did was right. Both mothers continued to tell the kids I didn’t love them or one of the kids was told I wanted to kill her with an abortion but mommy wouldn’t let me do it. They were told monsters are at dads house, needless to say for about 5 years the kids despised everything about me and always wanted thier mommy’s during my time, to add to it both moms knew this and would constantly call during my timeshare knowing it would upset them and cause them to cry or miss them or throw a tantrum cause they believed I’m keeping them from there mommy. One of the mothers would call about 5-7 times a day and every time ask the kids if they were safe or if dad fed you guys or did he give you baths yet, the list goes on and on. I stopped answering her calls cause it was upsetting the kids regularly. She then took me to court and asked the judge to require me to answer her calls when I have the children. After showing multiple examples of proof what she was telling the kids over text and phone about me the judge still sided with her and she got away with looking like the “concerned mother”And I end up with a $1500 attorney fee!! I still didn’t answer her calls though:) My mother begged me to seek help from a physiatrist and see the path I need to take to keep my sanity and what would be best for the kids. I was honestly debating weather it would be best for the kids to just live w their moms full time. So they wouldn’t have to live through the misery of being around there terrible dad. I thought maybe when they get older we could reconnect. Words don’t describe how hard it was to be a good loving parent and continue providing for them or doing things together with them when they all think of me as a pos. I never missed a single sporting event of there’s even though they always asked me to stay in the truck. It took every bit of discipline I had to not tell the kids that their moms are lying pieces of crap and tell all truths about who their moms really were, but as good as that would have felt for myself, I knew it was wrong and thought what would be the benefit of making them hate both parents. So I stayed consistent for about the next 5 years and still never said a single bad thing about there moms, then it happened, I woke up one day and my kids while we were eating breakfast started just talking to me with a respect I’ve never seen, then wanted to be involved in everything I did that day. It was From that day forward all 5 children slowly started to despise there mothers and still currently won’t speak to them and haven’t for over a year. And I still have never said one foul word about them in front of the kids. They all live with me full time now (btw I still pay both mothers child support lol, that was the deal I made with them to give me full custody) and i openly talk w the kids about what was it that changed there minds about me, and it was unanimous from every child that it was the fact that my love for them never stopped even when they didn’t want me to love them.
As you can see next lol, I take it personal when I see a parent putting their kids through this while portraying to the outside world that they are just very concerned mothers and want to protect their children from the dangerous father
Soo You stated you have the child 90% of the time, and father has 10%… so he roughly has about 36 days out of the entire year to spend quality time with the child. During these 36 days that the father does have, you stated that he never answers the phone when u call. Nor does he check in to let you know they made it to a destination safely, he also doesn’t let you call to tell them goodnight etc.
You stated you want what’s best for the children and will do whatever it takes to support the childrens relationship with the father, and you said it’s not about you or the father, that it is all about the children. This is actually kind of funny, answer me this, do you think your children care at all if their father lets you know they made it safely to a destination? Well I can tell you they don’t, the only person that this matters to is you! You said the father won’t let you tell the kids goodnight, once again this is something that YOU want to do. You say he won’t answer your calls. You do realize you have them 329 or so days of the year, why do u feel the need to constantly interrupt his very limited timeshare with unnecessary calls that are only made to satisfy your own insecurities. Its not about the kids at all, this is about you not getting ur way and not being able to control the situation… if you genuinely want what’s best for your kids please realize this next time u decide to call. When you call dads phone playing the concerned mom role while he has the kids it sends them a terrible message that they are not safe while with their father. You even took it so far as to file an order through the courts, why and for what reason. Please explain this to me. I believe it’s your sick way of manipulating the kids into thinking you will go to any lengths necessary to keep them safe and protect them their father who’s unwilling to work with u. What your doing is absolutely disgusting. Its not fair to the father or the kids at all, dads home now becomes a place they don’t feel safe staying at but yet they are forced to go there 36 days of the year. The anxiety this causes in a child can last a lifetime.