Can't agree on child custody

We can’t agree on a custody arrangementWe can’t come to terms on a custody arrangement. He wants one week at a time. I can’t take being away from my children for that long.

He’s had the opportunity for this type of arrangement for a year and he hasn’t taken advantage of it. He went for months without seeing them when we first separated. He only wants this so he doesn’t have to pay child support. He never had time for us when we lived with him and I’m glad he wants to be a part of their lives, but 50% is just too much for me.

Can anyone suggest a reasonable custody arrangement? I don’t want to keep him from his children, but a week without them is too hard for me. I’m beside myself.

WW - Let me start here, as the others have stated, this needs to get put to the attorneys so they can do their negotiation magic…However I want to point out a few things - As much as most people like to think that another parent wants 50/50 only due to no support, it is rarely the ONLY motivation. They may not have been as active as a parent as felt should be, but for some, just being in the presence of their kids, to them, is being a parent. They get used to having them around…it isn’t about the responsibilities…that will slap them in the face later - some step up, some don’t. Also there is influence from friends, family and professionals to step up as a parent in a divorce…some men won’t admit to having feelings about anything, including the loss of having kids around them, so they focus the conversation about money, so then comes the accusation that it is all it is about for them. What you also need to recognize, is that 50/50 isn’t about what is in the best interests of the parents it’s about what is in the best interest of the CHILDREN - your negotiation and desire can’t be based on how you will not like not having your kids around, you will LOSE if that is your basis. You need to prove, with facts, why you are the primary parent and why it has to stay that way in the best interest of the kids - so give your attorney FACTS to work with, not feelings.

Hey Wonderwoman! I love that name. Anyway, I am letting my lawyer handle all of it. I just nod my head. Will it cost me money? Yup. But I just think of all the stress trying to negotiate with him would cause me. I can get an answer out of him if the cat is in the house or outside! Imagine us talking about the house, kids, and $$$. So not worth it! I am also trying not to worry about the money. My lawyer will get me all she can. She comes with a strong reputation and intimidates the crap out of me and I’m her client!All I am going to allow myself to worry about is my kids. I will always worry about them–Mom’s Job Description says I can. I would take bets that we will end up before a judge for a ruling. Can’t imagine we will ever agree. But, I have faith that whatever is supposed to be will be.Good luck!

Jumping on the bandwagon. and yes, I’m going to YELL…STOP TALKING DIRECTLY WITH HIM. That’s what you pay an atty for. Let him jerk his own atty around, and you just leave it to the legal people. Good lord, have we stopped teaching RADIO SILENCE around here or something? That’s when YOU say nothing to him, and let the atty do what you pay them for.