Hi there, I’m new to the group but am looking for some clarity and advice.
I have been with my BF from a year now. He has a 7 year old boy with his ex wife with whom he shares care. He is very protective of his son and so I have only recently been allowed to meet his son, albeit introduced as a friend and no PDA’s allowed a rule agreed by his ex and him) which I have been fine with as I respect his desire not to cause any upset to his son or rock the boat with his ex.
He and his ex message frequently about their son, and in general I don’t have a problem with this. I do find it a bit intrusive when we’re lying in bed for example and he’s messaging her but I figured if its about child care arrangements etc then fair enough. However the other evening we were out for our anniversary dinner and he was swapping photos with her. This made me feel really put out and when I told him how it made me feel and asked him if he could not do it when we’re together I was told in no uncertain terms that his son would always come first, that he has a great relationship with his ex and he has no intention of stopping messages with her at any time, ever. These messages were not essential info, just cute photos they were sharing.
So my question is - am I being a princess by asking him to restrict non-essential messages to times which aren’t our close times together, or am I onto a loser here where my feelings will always be ignored. My problem isn’t with him texting his ex per se, but with his refusal to consider my feelings.