My ex and I were no longer married when we got pregnant. For a few months after we found out, things were going well, we were cooperating, being friendly. She would send me text's and emails about "this is what your baby had for breakfast today, etc.". About 4 months into the pregnancy she got very distant and said she wanted space, then would complain I had "disappeared" when I gave her space. I had a regrettable moment soon after where I emailed her and said to the effect of, I guess I'm just going to be a monthly support check and not a father to the baby, let me know if you need anything from me. Of course I regretted it and apologized but the damage was done and she pretty much shut me out.
I spent the remaining 4 months of the pregnancy buying all the items on the baby registry (and having them mailed to her home), asking her if she wanted to join the parenting class I was paying for, asking if there were any other items she or the baby needed and of course asking to be present for the birth, with no response. I told her I could take a month off work for paternity leave, I told her I would get the voluntary acknowledgment of paternity paperwork, no answer. She finally wrote me to say the baby had been born the previous day and would allow me an hour to visit. I have been allowed to see my baby (now 7 months old) once a week for about 2 hours, at her home (she hands me the baby and leaves the room, returning when she is ready for me to leave). I have never stopped asking for more time, never stopped taking co-parenting classes, child first aid and cpr classes, placed the baby under my health insurance plan, given my ex thousands of dollars in cash and baby supplies., etc.
I had hoped she would soften, but seeing she would not, at our baby's 3 month mark, I went to child services and filed for paternity. She responded by reducing my next two visits to 45 minutes. She sent me an email saying I had ruined a happy childhood for all three of us, that I had stolen that from her and the baby and that she has been and will continue to do what is in the best interests of the baby. She hired a high priced attorney and they have used every means possible to delay things, even requesting a DNA test knowing full well that I am the father (which the test proved). We now have our hearing coming up and since I'm certain we wont agree (I want a schedule of something like M/W/F two hours ea. day plus six hours on a weekend day) she doesn't want any kind of schedule and thinks I am asking for too much time. She has also told me she has no intention to co-parent with me or to allow me to take our child out of her home and continues not to allow my family to visit. She maintains she is looking out for "her" childs best interest.
So, here I am, one week away from court where we will at the very least have a temporary custody/placement agreement set with future mediation. My attorney asked me to inquire if she is willing to come to any sort of agreement before the hearing. I asked her if she would like to talk about days of the week/times that work better for her schedule....no response. How do I move forward with starting a co-parenting plan with someone who refuses to have any sort of dialog other than to tell me she has been and will continue to do what is in "her" childs best interests??