About to break

I’m i’m a situation where I’m honestly about to break, My ex and I have been separate for 2 years now, before we when our separate ways I became the stay at home father while she worked, she was able to get a better paying job then me due to some issues that occurred while I was in the Army. But I was the stay at home father and she decided to leave just before take my daughter with her, and she did it in a dishonest way. She left saying that she was talking my little girl on a play date, but I didn’t hear from them for nearly a week. I even put out a missing persons report because of this. Even after I found out that they was ok, it was a month before I was able to see my little girl again. Then is when to a 4 days a month for about a month. Then she asked me if I would watch my little girl during the week while she worked. During this time I still didn’t have a job as she left without warning, but I agreed anyways. There was a few time for almost a year that I asked her for help so that I could feel her while she was at my house but all I got was a jar of peanut butter and a box of food pantry food. Around September of that year I found a job working online so that I would be able to work and watch my little girl. This lasted until june of last year then she decided to move (not far granted) and she reduced my time back to maybe 3 days a month, I offered to help where I could but because I asked for more time, she got upset and stopped bringing her completely, and took me to court for child support that is now roughly 50% of my income. But because of my injuries I can’t work a normal job as my bad leg wouldn’t allow me to remain standing for long periods of time. I tried to show the courts my income but they would even look at the paperwork. She even claims that her lawyer told her not to bring my daughter over anymore until this is all settled the child support was settled last year and I’ve still yet to get to see my daughter. I’m honestly at wits end and my depression is so bad now that I’ve been struggling with thoughts of harming myself in a very permanent way.