Looking back now, if I had only had the courage, I would have probably written a letter to the other woman, not that it would have done any good, but at least a chance for me to speak my peace about my husband and my marriage....here is what I would have written:
Dear Other Woman, Actually, the reason that I write to you is because I am trying to save my marriage, and because of you being in our lives, it is near-to-impossible to achieve. I don't know what your'e thinking, and I don't know where your'e coming from, but let me just tell you where I am coming from. I married this man, the one who you are seeing, to love, honor and cherish. I have been with him for a very long time. We have a family and it may not be important to you, but it is to me.
Maybe he's telling you that I am a bad wife, or that he just can't talk to me, but let me assure you, that we are supposed to be in this marriage for better or worse, thick or thin, and even in the times when we may have problems. His running to you only hurts what's between us and makes it a three-ring circle, instead of a two-vowed by love and honor marriage.
I can tell you, that when he's with you, he might be in his own little "heaven" but it's not real. It's not real life because you don't have to deal with the dirty socks on the floor, paying our bills, or deciding what's right for our children. Although you might not care or understand, I still love this man and I want to be able to work out our differences between us WITHOUT you being in the way. That would only be fair.
Honestly, how would you feel if you became a home-wrecker? You might be sitting there laughing, but one day, it may come back to haunt you. Please let me work out my problems with my husband first, and then if it doesn't work out, you are free to have him. Just note: he does come with faults. He does have his own issues to work on, and lastly, he isn't perfect!!