When a couple with kids gets divorced, fallout from the break up often spreads beyond the immediate family. It’s normal for grandparents and other relatives who have close relationships with the kids to feel devastated and upset by the divorce, too. One worry is common: Will I still be able to see the children?
The answer is not simple, for several reasons. First, every family dynamic is not the same. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that divorce causes internal rifts and family fractures. People pick sides in disputes. Emotions run high. With divided loyalties and deteriorating relationships can come accusations or threats, and “You’ll never see your grandkids again” is unfortunately a common one.
Before you blow a gasket, take time out to calm down and investigate options. Every state’s laws are different when it comes to grandparent’s rights after a divorce, or even enforcing grandparent visitation. Threatening legal action may not be accurate, and will certainly not endear you to the custodial parent.
Instead, focus on educating yourself about your rights in your specific state. To view state laws on grandparent rights in a nutshell, check out the article on grandparents.com called, Grandparent Rights: State by State. This is only a brief summary. Check your official state website for current info. Remember, laws change quickly. For example, the Tennessee Supreme Court modified grandparent visitation rights in September 2013, and other states are similarly changing or revising laws all the time. For updated info that fits your unique circumstances, consider consulting a local family law attorney.
Finally, remember that as a grandparent, one thing you want to preserve is access to see or visit your grandkids. This may mean meeting the custodial parent on neutral territory, or even agreeing to supervised visitation to keep the peace. Put the anger and outrage aside and focus on what the kids deserve and need. Family counseling or mediation may be a wise choice, and a better investment of time and money in the long run.
