Solution Lady: How to Be the Real You after Split

Solution Lady: How to Be the Real You after Split

Mental Health: After Divorce, Try Listening More and Judging Less

Divorce can shake us to our core, leaving us feeling like a hollowed out shell of the person we used to be. But what if, when we came out on the other side, we were able to make real, positive changes that affected our entire outlook and positively impacted all future relationships? What if, one day, you were able to wake up and follow these guidelines:

1. You were as truthful as you could be without being hurtful.

2. You were as kind as you could be even if you didn’t know someone.

3. You expressed your needs and wants no matter how scared you were to say them.

4. You talked to people you wouldn’t normally talk to because you knew that you were going to learn something from them.

5. You listened without placing a judgment on what you heard.

6. You listened, responding with nothing but a “Thank you” or “I see”, or “I understand.”

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7. You did not get upset when someone got angry or expressed another negative emotion because you knew that it wasn’t about you. The other person was simply expressing themselves, letting go of or releasing energy so that they could feel better.

8. You were you, the real you, as crazy as it may be, as abnormal as it may sound.

9. You saw yourself as energy, taking in energy as you breathed and letting energy out as you breathed.

10. You visualized this energy as a part of you, of you as a part of it.

11. When you were around certain people, you discovered they sapped the energy from you.

12. When you were around certain people, you discovered they energized you.

What do you think would happen if you woke up every day like this or followed these suggestions as often as you remembered? Try it, in fact, write down these 12 steps and note how living by them affects others near you.

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