Adding a “fur baby” to the household always seems like a good idea at first especially when your kids have been begging for a puppy or kitten every hour on the hour but the realities of a new pet can be more than you bargained for.
“Far too many animals in this country are initially loved and then neglected or abandoned over time because owners decide too late that caring for pets is more responsibility than they actually want,” say the folks at the American Humane Society (AHS). “The truth is, adopting a companion animal is a big step one that will affect your lifestyle for many years.”
According to the AHS, a big part of this country’s pet-overpopulation problem lies with irresponsible pet owners: “While there are some situations when it may be absolutely necessary for an owner to relinquish a pet, hundreds of thousands of pets are relinquished to shelters each year simply because they have become an inconvenience or because the owner did not consider the time and financial commitment required to properly train and care for them.”
Before you buy or adopt a pet for your family, consider the following:
• Do you have enough time for a new pet? Most pets (goldfish, you are the exception) require an ample amount of your time. Do you have enough time to play with your new dog or cat for a couple hours each day? To take your dog on frequent walks and outings? To prepare meals for your pets and to groom them as needed? Do you have enough time to wake up early in the morning, or throughout the night, to help your new puppy conquer potty training? Do you have the time to devote to training and/or obedience classes?
• Is your future stable enough for a pet? Unless you’re adopting an elderly pet from the shelter and kudos to you, if you are that new puppy or kitten is likely going to stick around for at least the next decade. According to AHS, most dogs will live 12 to 15 years and cats can live 15 to 20 years. Are you willing to keep your pet even if you relocate? Even when your kids are grown and gone?
• Are your children mature enough to handle the responsibility? Before the puppy, your kid is going to swear up and down, cross-her-heart, that she’ll walk the dog three times a day, feed and water him, play with him all night and scoop the poop, too. Will it actually happen? That depends on your child, of course, but most kids aren’t ready to take on the full burden of pet responsibility.
“I would just assume that it’s going to be the parents taking care of the pet,” says Oregon Humane Society (OHS) Education Manager Jessica Wisely Kruger. “But there are some things kids can help with. If they’re older, around 12, they can help with feeding the pets and changing the litter box or, depending on the dog’s behavior, walking the dog. Little kids can help with things like changing the water and maybe filling the food bowls, but they will probably need reminders from parents.”
Kruger also recommends taking the entire family to obedience and basic manners classes if you’re adopting or buying a dog.
“Our obedience classes here at OHS are family friendly because everyone in the family needs to understand how to ask [the dog] to do something in the same way, so they’re consistent with the training,” Kruger says.
• Are you financially ready for a pet? High-quality pet food, veterinary care, boarding costs and grooming services aren’t cheap, but they are a part of being a responsible pet owner. Do you have enough money to cover an emergency trip to the vet when your dog breaks her leg at the dog park and needs a $2,000 surgery? Can you swing an extra $50 a month for a grain-free cat food when your kitty develops food allergies? Figure out what you can afford before adding a new pet to the family.
• Is this the right time for a pet? Many families get a new pet during times of turmoil when a marriage is breaking up or right after divorce, for example thinking that the animal will provide love and comfort.
Sometimes, it works. Claudia Stewart of Gresham, Oregon, has grown children of her own now, but she still remembers the comfort her pets provided when her own parents split up. “When my dad ditched my mom, I got to get a cat, Heidi,” Stewart says. “I loved her so much and had her for 14 years. She paid way more attention to me than my dad ever did. Best exchange ever!”
Jessa Nancarrow, a mother of three young children from Seongnam, South Korea, agrees that pets helped her children process her divorce. “The boys each had their own kitty and it seemed to help them,” Nancarrow says. “It was the one stable thing in their lives.”
Kruger, the education manager for OHS, says her initial reaction to getting a pet during times of turmoil in the family is to wait.
“My knee-jerk reaction is to not complicate the situation,” Kruger says. “But I know the mental and emotional benefits of having pets, and how animals can help with healing and grieving, so this is a difficult question.”
If you are considering a divorce, you will also have to consider if the best time to get a new pet is before or after you split households.
“It seems to me, that getting a pet during or right after a divorce would be the worst time,” says Leslie Galliano O’Neil, a mother of two girls and one dog from Pleasanton, California. “An animal can’t replace the parent in the household, and there’s enough turmoil without expecting the kid to assume an important new responsibility. Plus, when parents split up, any stay-at-home parent probably needs to return to work, so there’s no one at home to train a puppy or a kitten.”
Sometimes, getting a new pet before the divorce can make sense.
“It seems like the best time to get a new pet is before a divorce, so everyone’s established a routine for taking care of the animal,” O’Neil says.
Of course, getting a new pet before a divorce means you will have to decide where that pet is going to live after the divorce.
For Jessica Gates Davis of San Carlo, California, the process of dividing the pets after her divorce came down to which parent had the best rapport with which pet.
“I could not bear the idea of splitting up the animals as the family split was odd enough,” Davis says. “But my ex’s dog was definitely his dog and the same with Mr. Frederick, our long-suffering elder cat. I ended up taking Trixie, our younger, female cat, because she never got along that well with Frederick and she hated the dog.”
One year after the fact, Davis says her two young daughters and all of the animals have adjusted well to the split.
“Trixie (the cat) now has the run of my house, and the kids are pleased as pie to have familiar animals in both places,” Davis says.
• Why do you want a pet? For families with the time and resources, there are some very good reasons to get a pet for your children: Caring for an animal teaches your child how to be responsible; having a loyal, loving, non-judgmental companion does wonders for improving a child’s self-esteem and emotional well being; and playing outside with that new pup is an excellent way to get your kids moving and away from the couch.
And then there are the unexpected benefits.
Rhonda and Josh Collier, recently adopted a Bernese mountain dog, Fanny, for their two children, and report that the family’s new pet came with a perk.
“The dog helps cut down on sibling rivalry and improves sibling bonding,” Rhonda reports. “They both love Fanny and she is something they have in common now.”
• Which pet is best for your family?
Kruger never recommends adopting a high-energy puppy or even a high-needs kitten for families who are going through turmoil or just coming out of a divorce. Instead, she recommends looking at an older dog or cat or going a different pet-route altogether.
“Other pets get overlooked sometimes,” Kruger says. “Here at the Oregon Humane Society we have dogs and cats, but also rats, guinea pigs, mice, rabbits, birds, gerbils, hamsters, etc.”
Rats and guinea pigs actually make great pets, especially for kids, Kruger says.
“Rats and guineas are fabulous pets for children,” she says. “They’re social, which means they want to be around people or other rats or guineas, so you never want to just leave them in their cage alone. They need to be out and they enjoy being handled.”
Kruger says some of the OHS teen volunteers come in wearing their pet rats in their hoodies or carrying them in a pocket, for companionship.
“I know people who have trained their rats to do tricks and to not go to the bathroom outside their cage,” Kruger says. “They’re incredibly clean pets and really low-maintenance.”
Interested in finding the right type of pet for your family or learning more about how to care for a new pet? Check out these guides from the AHA:
