Happy relationships that go on for years are becoming harder to achieve. And the problem of a cheating partner — or even both partners — can seriously damage or even destroy your marriage. Extramarital affairs can be both embarrassing and heartbreaking.

Infidelity: Dealing with the Aftermath

When cheating occurs, this indicates an absence or lack of something that should exist between you and your partner. To make matters worse, once trust has gone from your relationship, it can be difficult to recover and make your marriage a success. 

Extra marital affairs unsurprisingly lead to conflicts and bitterness that, if not dealt with swiftly in a way that both partners feel comfortable with, may result in separation. But separation is not always a perfect solution, as it can leave both partners still feeling the pain and stress of the situation.

It may be possible to save your relationship after cheating — but only if both partners can agree to make changes, put the infidelity behind them, and move forward.

It can be very painful to discover that your partner is cheating. However, feelings of panic and anger — while understandable — may be destructive. Try to deal with the situation in the best way for you and your family. Think about how you can calmly handle the consequences of the situation. If you feel your marriage is worth saving, you may want to find ways to help heal your relationship.

You can expect to feel angry with your partner. However, it may be helpful to try and find out why he or she felt the desire to seek a romantic relationship with someone outside your marriage. The usual answer is not always obvious. It may be about the physical enjoyment of another person — but often has far more to do with feeling unappreciated or emotionally distant. If your partner felt unwanted and unloved, it is possible you both neglected to communicate your feelings and needs. In this case, you may be able to repair the damage and have a successful relationship in the future.

Whatever the reasons for infidelity, saving your marriage will take hard work — and forgiveness. If you think you will never again be able to trust your partner after infidelity, it may not be possible to save your marriage. Rebuilding a strong relationship means eventually putting this behind you and moving on — something easier said than done. But think: if every time there is a disagreement between you, you throw the cheating argument into the ring, you are unlikely to have a happy, long-term relationship.

Steps to Take When You Have Been Betrayed

If you discover your partner has cheated you, talk to them about it openly. Ask how they feel about the state of your marriage. Do they want to save the relationship? Are they prepared to change? If so, discuss what you can do together to make improvements. Demonstrate your love for your partner and make sure they know how much you need them. If you receive positive responses from your partner, it may be possible to forgive and make a new start.

Another important step you can take to save your relationship after infidelity is to be forthright about your own mistakes. Take efforts to improve your behavior and avoid doing things that may hurt your partner. If you are successful in making these changes, you both may develop an even deeper love for each other — which will help you address problems now and in the future.

If you decide to work through the infidelity, perhaps plan to take a mini-vacation with your partner to reconnect. Use this opportunity away from everyday life to improve your communication skills. Try to find out where the differences between you lie — and talk about what you can do to overcome them. Reminisce about the good times in your relationship. Go on walks. Make an effort to remember what you like to do together — then do those things.

If You Were Unfaithful

If you were unfaithful to your partner, it may be difficult to put the past behind you. But if you are to save your marriage, you must work hard to change your behavior — and show it. You should promise to end your affair — and mean it. Remember, your loyalty to your partner — and rebuilding trust — is crucial to the survival of your marriage.

If you are fortunate enough to have a partner who is prepared to forgive you and let go of the bitterness, it would be wise for you to show your appreciation through both words and actions. Express your deep love for your partner and make sure he or she knows how much you value them. 

When both of you take the time and effort to save your relationship after infidelity — and if you can learn to accept the failings of your partner, it is possible to have a successful relationship that can continue growing into something very special.

About the Author: Christine Bourne is a content manager at College Essay Writing Service. She writes advice for both students in the field of education and others who need useful tips.