The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers. (2 Henry VI, 4.2.59, Dick the Butcher to Jack Cade)
Shakespeare’s words may be tempting, but we can’t get rid of all the lawyers just yet. We need them. Less of them, maybe, and definitely with a different mission, but lawyers are a necessary evil to be sure.
For more generations than we can count, from the time tribal leaders decided who might mate with whom, central authority in our case, the state has retained a degree of control on marriage, and subsequently divorce. As long as there are laws which we must adhere to, there will be lawyers, like it or not.
Whether or not you think the state should have any say in how you get in or out of a marriage, they do, and so laws exist. Every state in the US has established its own rules for how a government-sanctioned matrimonial bond is supposed to work. And when a marriage doesn’t work, each state also has a hand in how it ends.
To achieve this end, many decisions must be made concerning property and debt division. The best interests of any children must be taken into consideration with custody, child support, and a parenting plan. In all cases, there is a need to formalize the decisions made in a written divorce agreement. A clear, concise, and complete written divorce agreement understood by both parties not only makes sense, but is required in most cases by state law.
The problem is that hostility and pain can creep into the termination of a marriage, making divorce messy and expensive if taken down the long road of litigation. The role of lawyers in this traditional process is one of zeal and gamesmanship, not necessarily fairness and equitability.
It’s much like a twelfth-century joust; each side picks a jouster-lawyer and the two race at each other with pointed spears, seeking to do as much damage to the opponent as possible. Ultimately, one will knock the other ass over elbow into the mud, thus declaring a clear winner, and leaving little doubt as to who is the loser.
Today, regardless of the abandonment of the sharp, pointy spears, it’s often a matter of my lawyer can beat up your lawyer. Reaching a just and meaningful arrangement is less the goal than merely winning. The issues that can start all this mutual destruction need to be dealt with by the parties, but the adversarial system is littered with so many legal corpses many people fear or even avoid the need to move on.
Traditional lawyers are carefully trained to understand the adversarial system. From the first day of law school, the primary role of the lawyer is to fight for the client by any legal means, and law is taught by studying court cases where there is a clear winner and a clear loser.
The good news is, now there are innovators like Wevorce, who deal with divorce not as a win or lose proposition, but seek to resolve issues in a way that is fair to both parties. Aside from being well-versed in the law’s technicalities, this new breed of lawyer is one who views success in terms of protecting a client. Instead of black and white adversarial stances, they adopt positions intended to even out inequities and assist clients in mapping out a better future for themselves and their families. The client is urged to see the war as over and to view an agreement as a way to a better life. This unique approach and point of view helps keep everyone on track and stops clients from getting bogged down in minutia from the years of pressure and strife. By keeping an eye on the end result, Wevorce lawyers aim for a sustainable and just agreement that works for everyone while still protecting the client’s basic legal rights.
The lawyers who want to be involved in the Wevorce movement must recognize that their job assignment has changed. They are not seeking victory for their clients at any cost as in days of yore. Rather, they are checking to be sure that all legal requirements have been met and all important issues have been resolved. They are making sure the language incorporated into the resulting agreement properly represents that resolution. And, most importantly, their duty is to be certain their clients understand what has been mutually agreed upon and how it applies to them.
Now the trick is picking the right lawyer for the Wevorce process. Thankfully, there are lawyers who are interested in alternative ways to divorce that are less destructive, and yes, even amicable. So, perhaps in time, there will be less desire to kill all the lawyers.
