Do They Wish They Could Have Their Spouse Back?

I have been coming to this site for about 1.5 months. Whenever I am feeling very lonely or sad, I come here and start to feel a little better. It feels good to know I am not the only one hurting. Some of the advice given here is something I have thought about a lot.

I have been married for 11 years. Been with my cheating SOBH since high school. We have one son. While I know I am far from perfect I gave him my heart and my soul. When he told me he was not in love with me anymore I was crushed. When he told me he did not want to be married to me anymore I did not know what to do. We were going through a rough spot (my perception) but I figured we would get through it. No marriage is perfect. My friends and family knew there was more to this than I knew and after a lot of support and advice, I finally filed in February. Something I don’t think he ever thought I would do. Even though I know leaving is the right thing to do I still regret it.

After he moved out I discovered that he had/has been text messaging a woman he works with since September. I have over 70 pages of text info (one month’s cell bill). 90% of which is between him and her. I have had this person in my home. Made her dinner. Given her gifts. I also found out that she filed for divorce from her husband of 20+years about the same time I was being informed that he did not want me anymore. I have seen his car at her house and he takes our son over there when he has him. He has not admitted to cheating. Until some things are settled I can’t confront him either.

My question is this…..do they ever regret what they did and wish they could have their spouse back?

I know I simply need to focus on my son and me and our future together. I need to move on. But I am so very sad. Somedays I feel as if he not only left me but took my soul and shattered it into a million pieces. I want him to regret and to hurt. I know I am going through a grieving process. That does not make it any better, though. Thanks for reading and have a good day.