Since Gwyneth Paltrow used the term conscious uncoupling in an announcement about her split from husband Chris Martin on Goop, it’s been the topic of conversation by everyone. But for all of us here at Wevorce this is not a new idea and we have been talking about it or the essence of it since our conception and our online magazine, weLife, has been writing about it since our social media debut.
The term itself has its roots in New Age psychology and is credited to marriage and family therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas through her Conscious Uncoupling program. In David Kessler’s recent Huffington Post article, “A Conscious Look at Conscious Uncoupling: 4 Steps to a Successful Separation,” he shares his thoughts on the term. “I define conscious uncoupling as recognizing that not all marriages are meant to last forever and both parties deserve to leave whole and intact. While some may dismiss this new terminology as woo woo, divorce is a reality and worth discussing.”
To further examine why we have need of such a hybrid, new-age philosophy on divorce, you may want to explore an article by Dr. Habib Sadeghi and Dr. Sherry Sami on Conscious Uncoupling, posted just below Gwyneth Paltrow’s post on Goop. “Many people are concerned about the divorce rate and see it as an important problem that needs to be fixed. But what if divorce itself isn’t the problem? What if it’s just a symptom of something deeper that needs our attention? The high divorce rate might actually be a calling to learn a new way of being in relationships.”
The two doctors go on to say, “Modern society adheres to the concept that marriage should be lifelong; but when we’re living three lifetimes compared to early humans, perhaps we need to redefine the construct. Social research suggests that because we’re living so long, most people will have two or three significant long-term relationships in their lifetime.”
Conscious uncoupling two very good words, strong words, words that describe our philosophy here at Wevorce as well. But what I was drawn to in particular as I read Ms. Paltrow’s post was when she talked about her family.
“We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time.”
We are parents first and foremost. Words we have used many times, a simple value that is at the heart of the Wevorce program. Yet, despite its simplicity, it has proven a difficult concept to grasp when humans are in the midst of the pain and anger of divorce. That’s where our high tech, high touch program can help.
It is our goal to make every divorce an amicable one and Wevorce believes families should remain families, whether in one household or two. That is why we exist. That is why we want to help couples achieve a conscious uncoupling.
