Collaborative Divorce
In a collaborative divorce, each spouse still has an attorney to guide them through the legal realities of divorce. This can lead to some high costs. ;But, unlike an adversarial divorce, the collaborative approach emphasizes a certain level of cooperation between the spouses. ;After the initial meetings with your respective attorneys, the four parties — ;both spouses and their attorneys — ;will meet and try to hammer out an agreement that will create a better long-term plan for the entire family.
With collaborative divorce, couples have the added benefit of expert support to help them deal with the legal, financial and emotional aspects of divorce. Depending on your needs and situation, collaborative lawyers may call in financial or parenting experts to help guide you and your spouse through the process. The end result for collaborative divorce is a low-conflict divorce that results in an agreement that benefits both spouses and their children.
Pros
Sticking with the collaborative divorce model will keep you out of court. In fact, most collaborative attorneys will sign a “no court” agreement at the beginning of the process and will actually withdraw from the case if either spouse drops out of the collaborative arrangement or pushes for a court battle.
The collaborative approach uses non-confrontational methods to help diffuse some of those intense emotions that accompany divorce proceedings. Spouses who are having an especially difficult time communicating with their soon-to-be ex may appreciate having an advocate on their side to help steer the conversation during meetings between both spouses and their attorneys. In fact, most collaborative divorce teams will offer the services of “divorce coaches,” professionals trained to help each spouse work through the anger, sadness and feelings of intense betrayal often felt during a divorce. ;
Spouses and their children are likely to be happier with the type of divorce agreement that comes from a collaborative process, because this way of divorcing is not about “winners and losers,” but rather about a more sustainable way of splitting the marital assets, providing for financial stability during and after the divorce, and finding a co-parenting plan that is best for the children and the parents.
Cons
Although often less expensive than an adversarial divorce, a collaborative process can cost more than other divorce options, especially when you consider that each spouse has their own attorney and, often, their own help from the collaborative team’s panel of divorce coaches, mental health professionals and financial and parenting experts. All those separate invoices can really add up.
If your ex is not fully committed to the process and, in the middle of a collaborative divorce, decides they want to take matters to court, this method of divorcing can be very costly. Not only will you have sunk money into the collaborative attorneys and their team of experts, but you will then have to hire another attorney, a litigator, to take your case and start the adversarial process. For some people, particularly those who are married to an abusive spouse or to someone with narcissistic personality traits, a collaborative divorce may not be the best option.
Costs
Because collaborative divorces include the costs for two attorneys and, depending on each couple’s situation, an additional cost for experts, it can add quite a bit to your overall bill, often bringing the financial costs to the same as a mid-range adversarial divorce. However, the emotional costs are typically much less using the collaborative model. Expect to pay between $15,000 and $25,000 per couple for a standard collaborative divorce.
