Still, it’s one of the first images we conjure up when someone says, “Stepmother.” And for many women who try to fill those shoes, it can be a difficult and confusing role.

In an interview by Rebecca Alexander with Dr. Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster: A New Look At Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel And Act The Way We Do, Martin candidly talks about her own experiences as a stepmother. “You’ve been handed a first family map. And you can’t drive around a second family with a first family map, because first families and second families are different. And this can lead to enormous confusion and frustration.”

Learn more about the negative judgment stepmothers deal with and how the wicked stepmothers in children’s fairytales influence us. Read the full interview here.